We’re so thankful for Empower Minister Sally Bryant, who has faithfully brought the Empower training to Malawi for more than a decade. While some countries in Africa remain locked down, Malawi is currently open. Here’s Sally’s report on her upcoming trip to Malawi. Please join us in supporting Sally in prayer (read to the end to see specific prayer requests).
Malawi, the “warm heart of Africa,” has captured my heart. What began in 2009 as a “one and done” trip has become a passion for me! As I prepare for my 11th trip, I am so amazed at what God has done. The seeds planted on that reluctant trip have grown into a mighty tree, providing hope for hundreds of men, women and children.
Consistent themes mark these ten trips. We’ve seen new understanding of marriage emerge, harmful cultural practices ended, and increased commitment to educating girls.
New Understanding of Marriage: At the beginning of each New Man, New Woman, New Life workshop, we ask the participants to describe the ideal marriage relationship. Their answers include ideas like: a woman should satisfy her husband sexually at all times. She is there to cool the desire of the man without any excuse. A woman should be quiet. She does not have the power to control the house when the man is there. Her job is to do household work. Woman is cursed by God. There is a saying in Malawi, “If a man’s cow dies, it’s a tragedy. If his wife dies, she is easily replaced.”
At the end of our three days together, the participants’ entire understanding of marriage is changed. After going through the workshop, we now see that the ideal marriage relationship is the one-flesh unity described in Genesis 2. We now understand that man and woman were created as equal in God’s design.
Pastor Arnold Mphulupulu Phiri, Empower’s Malawi coordinator, shared what the NMNWNL material has meant in his life: When I was born and raised, my dad was the boss of the house and my mother had to submit in everything. When I was growing up, I had that in my mind that the man should be the boss. When I got married, I treated my family like that. But after attending NMNWNL, I saw that it was wrong and I changed. I started helping my wife. When the church committee saw this, they said my wife was rude and had no manners. I showed them by doing “women’s work”; when they came to my house for meetings, I cooked for them. Now they are convinced that it is good and many have changed. Now I have freedom to help take care of my kids. If Jesus is Lord, then he is the boss of the house. We now have peace and partnership in the family. My wife is my partner, not my slave.
Each time I visit Malawi, I see the fruit of the NMNWNL material: couples have freedom to sit together while attending church, fathers experience the joy of holding their children, and wives tell us their lives have been transformed by this material!
Harmful Cultural Practices Ended: On many past visits, I have spoken at the Southern Africa Conference of Independent Evangelical Churches, a four-day conference attended by over 100 pastors from Malawi, Zambia, Mozambique, and South Africa. One pastor attending the conference had supported the heinous hyena practice in his village. This cultural practice begins when a girl reaches puberty, and her parents “prepare” her for marriage by hiring a man (the “hyena”) to rape the girl in an attempt to teach her how to pleasure her husband. This is a too-common practice in southern Malawi. (Read our past reporting on this topic here.) As I spoke of God’s intention for marriage, and the truth that both woman and man are created in God’s image, this pastor realized he could no longer support this cultural practice, and ended the practice in his village, freeing hundreds of girls from suffering the emotional trauma of rape and the physical risk of contracting HIV/AIDS from the hyena.
Educate a Girl, Change the Community: Malawi has the worst statistics on child marriage in the sub-Saharan region. Close to 50 percent of girls marry before age of 18. Girls without an education tend to marry early and have children early. Children born to mothers with limited education are 40 percent more likely to die before they reach the age of five.
What does this have to do with Empower International? Empower seeks to combat the root cause of abuse, abandonment, and injustice, so that families can be healed, communities restored, and culture transformed. When girls are not educated, the community suffers. Using the material from NMNWNL, providing an overview of God’s original intention for man, woman and marriage and the egalitarian nature of marriage, I have been equipping volunteers to teach children – especially girls – who otherwise would have no access to education. Education, especially education grounded in the gospel, can change a country.
These “Train-the-Teacher” workshops provide participatory teaching techniques to equip these volunteers who are teaching without books, paper, pencils, or even electricity. About 1000 kids have benefited from these informal schools. For the students who are able to go on to a regular school, their teachers are amazed at how advanced they are compared to their peers.
Pastors’ Wives Workshop: While almost all women in Malawi face extreme challenges, the wives of pastors often bear the additional burdens of being a “mother” to their husbands’ congregations. In this role, they face heavy expectations and often multiple identities as they try to juggle the roles of wife, mother, counselor, and mediator. There is far more to do than there is time to do it. The workshop begins with the reminder that each of them is created in the image of God. Throughout scripture, God uses many metaphors and analogies to help us know him and his character, such as shepherd, father, mother, redeemer, judge, deliverer, friend, lover, and helper. We look at the ways in which God describes himself using maternal metaphors, such as a woman in labor (Isaiah 42:13-14), a nursing mother (Isaiah 49:15), and a mother comforting her children (Isaiah 66:12-13; Luke 13:34). These verses remind us of the esteem in which God holds women, and the high calling they have as pastors’ wives.
In order to avoid burnout and defeat, it is essential to abide in the Vine, setting aside intentional time for prayer, realizing prayer is more important than programs. The last time I led this workshop, the women engaged in a powerful practice. Using the prayers of Paul (1 Cor. 1:4-9; 2 Cor. 1:3-7; Eph. 1:15-19; Col. 1:3-8; Eph. 3:14-21; Philippians 1:3-11; Col. 1:8-14) as guidelines, the women broke into pairs, and prayed these prayers for one another, substituting the other woman’s name where scripture says “you.” It was so powerful! The women reported that they returned home changed, feeling empowered by the Holy Spirit, and approaching their work in a different way.
2021 Plans: I have longed to return to Malawi, and God willing, I will be there July 27-August 12, continuing the work of Empower by leading the New Man, New Woman, New Life workshops in villages; helping to equip volunteers to teach “under the tree” through the Train-the-Teacher workshop; and speaking again at the Southern Africa Conference of Independent Evangelical Churches.
Please pray for Pastor Arnold as he arranges the workshops, and that the Holy Spirit even now would be preparing hearts to hear this counter-cultural teaching that brings such peace and love to the home. Pray that Malawi would continue to maintain its relatively low rate of COVID infection. Pray the Holy Spirit would anoint every work I speak and bring about great healing between husbands and wives, and among families.