Empower was recently able to conduct a New Man, New Woman, New Life Master Class training in Arua City, in the West Nile area of Uganda. It was led by Joyce Ouko, president of Empower Uganda; her husband Julius; and Pastor Frank Michael Tweheyo, Empower Africa Director.
Here is Part One of Frank’s report on the training (edited for length and clarity):
Harriet is a pastor’s wife in Uganda. In her culture, women have few rights, and they are expected to be a servant to their husband and to his family.
Because her husband’s family paid a dowry for her, she was expected to do most of the household chores for her husband’s homestead including her in-laws. She would cook for them, but then had to wait until everyone else had eaten. She would then be permitted to eat the leftovers, if there were any.
Then, she and her husband, Pastor Jema, attended an Empower training on New Man, New Woman, New Life. And things began to change rather dramatically.
Harriet says growing up in this culture, she assumed it was normal, and even Christian. It was difficult for her to adjust to what the Bible teaches especially if it contradicts the cultural norms. However ever since going through the initial training, she is making deliberate efforts to do things expected of her as a Christian and not what her culture expects.
Her in-laws are not especially happy about this, but her husband stands up to them, with her. In fact, he was the coordinator for our most recent training, a Master Class for people who have been through the initial NMNW training. In a Master Class, participants are equipped to teach the training to others, and they always share how they have applied the things they learned in the initial training.
Harriet and her husband attended our recent Master Class and shared how the initial training has impacted them. In Pastor Jema’s family, he’s begun to challenge the status quo. For example, in their family’s cultural setting, even a young boy has better privileges than a married woman. In the seminar, Pastor Jema became aware of the “cultural man” within himself, and how God calls him to be transformed.
They both agreed that it takes deliberate effort to accept and do things the bible says as opposed to the cultural and family expectations.
Understanding of submission and headship helped them as a couple. They no longer argue and quarrel but now do a lot of discussions that lead to right decisions. Pastor Jema learned to listen as well as avoid confrontational attitude in his conversations with Harriet.
Arua City is closed to Uganda’s border with both D.R. Congo and South Sudan, and is surrounded by over 10 administrative districts of the West Nile Region of Uganda The success of our training has a large bearing not only in Arua City itself but also the surrounding districts and the two countries, since they have shared cultures and intertwining values and behaviors.
Most of the trainees were pastors and/or their wives, along with a handful of other professionals including teachers, bankers and business people.
Another participant, Pastor Steven Atria (Chairman of Arua Pastors’ Fellowship, a very influential leader in the community), said that the seminar was a great eye-opener to him. The teaching changed his perspective and understanding on topics he now sees that he took for granted or misunderstood in the Bible, such as headship and submission.
He told the group that after the first training, he understood that he no longer needs to use force in his relationship with his wife (which is what his culture teaches and expects). He and his wife were empowered to think beyond the cultural box.
They now share opinions and make shared decisions. Previously, Steven was always the one to make every decision, whether it was right or wrong. His wife’s opinion never counted because culturally women are not supposed to contribute to the decision-making process.
Pastor Steven also uses the NMNWNL material in premarital counseling, as well as marriage counseling. The teaching has helped him to deliver relevant sermons on wedding days that are now biblically balanced. He also reported that he has so far helped three marriages which were at the verge of crumbling and they are now together.
He further reported that where culture conflicts with the scriptures, he now finds it easy to go the bible way even if what he is doing is counter-cultural. For example, he was under pressure to marry another wife since they as a couple have no children yet (after 13 years of marriage). He has now taken a stand to stick to his wife even when it conflicts with the cultural and family demands. He was particularly inspired by my wife Phobice’s and my testimony of waiting for over 22 years until we had twins. Our story was a great blessing to them and another childless couple in that training, as well as all other participants.
Steven’s wife, Scovia, a high school teacher and a Chinese lessons tutor, was blessed with the Genesis material, especially Chapter 2, about “leaving, cleaving and being one flesh.” She did a wonderful job of reporting what she and her group had learned.
Scovia and Steven said that the training is helping them to find a new, less conflicted way to make decisions together. She shared that she is happy and relieved to learn that children are not a commandment, but rather a blessing from God.
(Part Two of Frank’s report will be available at EmpowerInternational.org later this week.)